Archive | General RSS feed for this section

LETTER TO TANIKELLA BHARANI

1 Dec
నమస్కారములు


భరణి గారు, మిమ్మల్ని చాలా దినములుగా సంప్రదించాలని అనుకున్నాను కానీ భయంతో ఆ పని చేయలేదు. కారణం, మీ గొప్పతనం నా పేదతనానికి అడ్డు వఛిన్ది. గొప్పతనం అంటే మీ అభిరుచి, మీ ఔన్నత్యము, మీ మనసు.  

అయితే అన్నిటికన్నా ముఖ్యం మీరు తీసిన మిథునం, నాలో ఒక చిగురాశ రేపింది 

దానికి నేను రాసిన విశ్లేషణ ఇక్కడ అందిస్తున్నాను 


ఈ విశ్లేషణ చదువుతారు అని ఆశిస్తున్నాను. 

మిమ్మల్ని కలిసి సంభాషించాలని ఉంది తెలుగుని ప్రపంచ వెలుగులోకి, మురికిలో ఉన్న తెలుగు సినిమాకి  నలుగు పెట్టి మరీ నలుగురిలోకి తీసుకు వెళ్ళే సామర్థ్యం మీకు ఉంది. అందుకే మీతో పని చేయాలని ఉంది. 

అసందర్భం అని అనుకోకపోతే, ఒక అభ్యర్థన. నేను 2007 లో “పూర్ణిమ” అనే ఒక కథను, Script గా రాసుకున్నను. 
ఇది ఒక అమ్మాయి కథ, ఆ కథనం మీకు వివరించాలని ఉంది. ఇది అచ్చ తెలుగులో నేను రాసుకున్న ఒక కథ, దీనికి ఆధారం, ఒక నిజమైన సంఘటన. 

మీరు మా లాంటి అభిమానులకు ఇచ్చిన వెసులుబాటును వాడుకుని మిమ్మల్ని దరి చేరాలి అనే చిన్న ప్రయత్నం ఇది. 

వీలు చూసుకుని సమాధానం ఇస్తారు అని వెయ్యి కళ్ళతో ఎదురు చూస్తూ, 

మీ 
భరద్వాజ 

CLASSICAL NIGHT WITH BOMBAY JAYASHRI AND RONU MAJUMDAR

27 Nov
DATE : 25th NOV 2012
VENUE : RAVINDRA BHARATI, HYDERABD
It was the last day of NOVEMBER FEST 2012 and a concert of Jugalbandi by one of my most loved classical singer Bombay Jayashri and flute by Ronu Majumdar , I know so little of Ronu till I heard him yesterday.And what a night it was, full of poetry and divinity rendered through the voice and flute of divine souls accompanied aptly by Suresh Narayanan at Mridangam and Ajit Pathak with Tabla.
We went in nearly 30 minutes before the show to the venue (RAVINDRA BHARATI) and it was full so there were advertisements of sponsors to begin with.So a word about the sponsors, BOSE and FRIDAY REVIEW (a Friday edition of THE HINDU).BOSE gives us the best sound and that being the sponsor, I was sure of going to hear the perfect acoustics in BOSE speakers, so thanks to BOSE. Now  when cultural news is fading away to the commercial fanfare (politics and entertainment) that occupies most of the columns in newspapers, we have a special edition by THE HINDU in FRIDAY REVIEW and this very edition has always given out very precious and valuable information and is it’s own way has been the torchbearer for the cultural and arts news in INDIA.I respect this edition and mostly go through it. While there were other substantial sponsors that helped this event. 
About Bombay Jayashsri : She is one of my most favourite classical singers and I am privileged to have known her through an A R Rahman composition “Sasivadane” and then through many songs and the very very popular “Zara Zara”. But my most favourite of her renditions is Subramanya Bharati’s “Suttum Vizhi Chudarvaal”. And well she has learnt music from Lalgudi Jayaraman, a legend and a genius. 
About other artists, I have not known much so not writing much here. OK, now let me revisit those divine 2 hours of the concert (kutcheri with a jugalbandi) and what a heavenly feeling it was. It began with the Aalaap of Raaga Saraswati in Ek Taal (Rupakam in Carnatic Music). The Aalaap was agreat opening with the austerity and poise of something great, it took the audience to a trance, Wow, to Ronu Majumdar for sustaining at few places. Can you believe one note being sutained for more than a minute in flute, it was just stupendous and magical. And the rendition by Bombay Jayshri was exemplary. The Aalaap was followed by a “Saraswati Namostute” a great composition and it was rendered as if Saraswati Devi herself was singing a song for herself. Such was the divinity there.
Next, was the Tyagaraya Krithi  “Sara Sama Dana” in Kaapinarayani and the flute was done in Jhinjhoti. Now, the Kriti was preceeded by the Aalaap and then the Jodi (taal) and what a soulful Aalaap that was, mellifluous. When the Kriti began,  I believed there was a strong resemblance to the song “Raghuvamsa Sudha” in Kadanakutoohalam, and only now I found out that indeed that there is a similarity. Look at the Aarohana (Aa) and Avarohana (Av) of both and one can understand. 
Aa: S R2 M1 P D2 N2 S
Av: S N2 D2 P M1 G3 R2 S
For, Kadanakutoohalam
Aa: S R2 M1 D2 N3 G3 P S
Av: S N3 D2 P M1 G3 R2 S
If that was beautiful, then the romantic number was yet to come and it came as “More Mandir Aaj Woh Nahi Aaye” sung in Jaijaiwanti while the flute was rendered in Bageshri/Desh. It was beautiful and Romantic the Aalaap, the song, it was just a perfect song for a romantic night, just that romance was happning through music. The god was with his flute and the goddess rendering this. It gave the most happiest feeling, just loved it. 
This song, was followed by the “thaniyavarthanam” a percussion contest of Mridangam and Tabla. It was indeed a contest and both had to outplay each other and by the end, we were all thrilled by the talented musicians came to their own and gave us something great, they felt like they were speaking and lsitening to each other then they swayed their daggers and finally called peace. Also, I noticed a few rasikas walking away, may be they thought that was the last item. 
Then, came a request by Ronu Majumdar, that he wants to perform “Krishna Nee Begane” so can we stay there for a few minutes more, for sure everyone wanted more and then began what I can say, the best rendition of this song, it had taken a long time to reach that sangam (confluence) and the path of the river was just fluid. To merge into the ocean, this song was the right one chosen and indeed it’s Pandit Ronu’s most favourite song as this is about Krishna “The God of Flute”  
And then, came the applause that had been heard many a times all through this great concert, now this applause had come with a standing ovation and I stood there bowing my head in salutation to the God and Goddess and to the heaven, the stage that has given me divine pleasure. It’s a night that I shall never forget. 

LESSONS LEARNT- GRUDGE OVER PASSION

13 Sep
I am not in  good state of mind as I write this, it takes time for me to understand myself. My dreams are dying down and days are passing away in quick time. I am living a life of a parasite nearly and now I was jolted by something that happened. When a manger threw me off the team last year just because I overtook him in decision making, I was not bothered, when a girl who said ‘I love you’ without even seeing me physically, left me without even a proper ‘Bye’ I am still getting on, when someone hit my car and fell in front of it and just opened his eyes to be alive, I was jolted this is all life bottles down to. A small accident can take away the whole life. I am disturbed by this and am also unhappy for being what I am.

Now, I am ashamed of few things

1) Sharing my salary as it’s too very low when I compare even to my peers
2) Sharing my interest of film making or writing to my family relatives as they are deriding me most of the time
3) Revealing to many that I spend my time most when free when I am free just playing some stupid games and skipping the all important delivery in office by doing nothing and also sleeping lazily at home. I waste too much time and few people say, I do too many things, to all those I say “guys, if that is the case, you are not worthy being alive, you are just wasting your time and life”

Now, I am a loser till this day, I tried a few things which did not work, may be cause I did not work with enough passion, but I have grudge on everything more than passion, and this will sure turn me on, I would now be happy if I prove others wrong. I am still a sayer and not a doer, I am going out in few minutes to meet a guy who would be cinematographer of my feauture film.

I say this to myself, enough is enough is enough. On january 13th still if my film is not on floors or out of set, on january 14th I am gonna screw myself. I give up nt myself but my whole life. 120 days time and 2880 hours of life is all I have left with.

Plan is this….this weekend, I need to finsih the shoot of VICTIM short film….I am rewriting POORNIMA and already seeking producers for the same. Get few producers of 35 lakhs in total and put it in porduction. Done with life, else go fuck myself. I am done here. Not happy for now, I am going to prove all others wrong. I am going for ‘MY LIFE’
  

MUSIC TO ME

31 Mar
Music is the only thing that saves me and helps me survive the trauma the turmoil the mundane the exuberance and the embellishments/trappings.

I discovered this in my loneliness, togetherness. And I am happy that I did coz I can resort to it anytime.

Music completes me in every sense. I have a ear for any kind of song, and shall keep only what I like.

What is left is in my life is to sneak out of the job that I am doing, I hope this will end soon.

VACATION LESSON – I AM A NOBODY

31 Mar

Originally written on Jan 20 2010.

I was on a trip to and was off from work for 10 days and on the return I just realized that I AM A NOBODY; irrespective of my presence things will happen. It was a great feeling this time coz I seldom felt like this, being a no body is in it self a great thing. It relieved me from all apprehensions that hey how would this happen, how would that work, will things be right if I leave and all that. 

This is a great lesson and again emphasizes only one fact, I am the most important being only to myself no one would care a damn. But I would do what I believe in as long as I live. It’s not the strife of becoming somebody, it’s not becoming anybody either it’s just that my heart now says “do what u like and what u love to coz u are after all a nobody, so now you got more freedom to do what u wanted to”.

FREEDOM IS ABOVE MARRIAGE

4 Mar
There is a subtle meaning to life which is to live life on our own terms and conditions, it may be meek us feel weak about the decisions we make, but we are responsible for everything. It’s this very sense of responsibility that I want myself to be a part of. It’s that very life where I live by myself. My dreams my aspirations all seem to be falling apart and torn and each time with great care, I collect them back and aspire more and for better things. Now, I am through a phase where every boy who aspires an alliance will pass from, its marriage and acceptance of a gril into my life. Inviting her to a journey of a lifetime where we can both take turns to drive our own vehicle called “Married LIfe”. A journey that would take us places not just in world but even to heaven at times, coz I aspire to see moments of bliss more than cribbing.

These days, cribbing seems to become a fashion, more than self contentment and being happy with what he have, we crib about what we do not have. I need more salary, I would work or fight for that. I need a bigger home, I would find resources for that. I need a better wife, how is that possible now? We have one life and one wife is what he have been taught. You have been given one so how can you aspire for a better one?

A great lesson on this was taught in the film Mr & Mrs 55 by Guru Dutt and later on in many more films too. But a film is so very different from life, I am just realizing this as I am going thru the scrutinizing process for an alliance. What’s the prime most thing that we can offer as a human (boy) to another human (girl) in a relationship, as per me it’s freedom, freedom of choice of picking up what she wants to do, freedom of expression, an expresion that is reasonable and acceptable by the partner too. If disagreed, they have to speak about it than remain silent and slowly accept the others without a say. Silence is a grave mistake done in relationships and silence is taken as an approval too.

It’s better to fight, shout on if we disagree than accept one thing silently, thinking that what the partner says is right and then on one day, regret it or worse, repent on it.

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again


So I am going to offer freedom of choice and expression and wish that love shall be the outcome of it, she can do things what she wants too, and if ever that freedom is taken for granted and she even wants to leave me, she shall be free, if she convinces me for her reasons. But I shall never leave her, my love shall remain for her as long as I live, it’s simply uncompromising and it’s for only one special being I can dedicate my whole life.

There are some rules and ideals I have set for myself, I am rethinking an re looking at those, this world is a place, where ideals are not understood and rules are often misread. If I say, I want to go for a register marriage, aspersions are cast “You shall have a loner’s life” or apprehensions posted “Oh, some reason is there,, may be he is afraid of society or maybe, he has a bad past that he does not want to face” nothing of that sort ever happened, I have a glorious and the most happening past but society shall again misread the word “happening”. Sorry I need to be present physically to explain each nitty gritty of my life, but there is no pint of explaining to a gallery of prejudiced people.

So tough choices have to be made, and I am working towards a middle path, where I shall not compromise or give in, but at the same time be flexible too to accept the beliefs, thoughts, the ideas of the other side. What are those, objectively I cannot put them on blog as they are pretty personal, but shall redeem myself and come out with a solution that shall surely satisfy me and even the society at large. How??? Wait and watch please.

MY PLAN – PURSUE MY PASSION

3 Mar

Romain Rolland in Jean-Christophe
So many men – they have no opinions except in so far as they disapprove of all the enthusiastic opinion. But if a man is to be independent, he has to stand alone and how many men are there who are capable of that? How many men are there even amongst the clear-sighted who will dare to break free of the bondage of certain prejudices, certain postulates which cramp and fetter all the men of the same generation? That would mean setting up a wall between themselves and others, on one hand freedom in the wilderness, on the other, mankind. They do not hesitate. They choose mankind, the herd. The herd is evil-smelling but it gives warmth. Then those who have chosen pretend to think, do not in fact think. It is not very difficult for them. They know so little what they think! “Know thy-self” How could they, those men, who have hardly a ‘me’ to know. In every collective belief, religious or social very rare are the men who believe, because very rare the men who are men. Faith is a heroic force; its fire has kindled but very few human hearts.
So above paragraph was told in his book and I read it in Musings byChalam (My favorite telugu writer) and I used this in my scriptPoornima too.

The point I am trying to make is, few are men who had faith and did what they wanted to. I want to be in the league that believed in themselves and did what they wanted to. All these years, since my birth I have done actually nothing but write and learn photography. I love writing (from shayari to poetry to movie script to lyrics of a song) and then photography. Now, the time has come to pursue this.

My dream is tell to a story that I want to see. To make a movie what I want to see. Let it be what no one is interested in, but I am interested in it and I will make all my effort and give my blood and sweat to make it the way I want to. UN-compromised Cinema is the new term. OK, so here is my plan; quit the organization and software industry, start narrating the script to producers and convince him that my story is worth to be told and made. (damn software industry, I saw more politics than work here, but this is not that is driving me to move out, it’s my passion which is the driving force) and start up with the movie making. I have got people who have a fire in them to work in a project that they are interested in and have got people who want to run away from the software industry too to make their own mark in film industry. But, I am one who is running away from what he is doing now to make his only dream come true.

What if things go well, I will be telling stories all my life and I will be happy as I am living my dream. Only very few souls in this world are privileged to do so. There are 90 failure stories and 10 success stories; I am willing to be a part of both than dying without even strife.
What if things fail, I will starve, I will be ripped off by the people around me and I will be looked down as one who should not be respected and I will be cursed, I will taken as an example to be looked down upon and they may term me a loser and the as the worst part my parents may even disown me (nothing worse than this, I see) and eventually I will die in the strife which is also fine.

Things are so easy to write and told but it’s so tough to face them, how will a day be when I am shivering in cold on a foot path or running for water to quench my thirst on a scorching day. I am game for both coz I have never seen any hardships in life my parents were generous and gave all I needed when I needed (the prime most thing being education) and even I did get everything in life without ever struggling for it, I was given this job at a campus interview and maybe that’s why I do not value this much or may be because of my passion and dreamt of so much of kicking this off, I am holding onto it and striving to make my own place.

So let’s see where time will take me but I am going to pursue film making, I have got scripts ready, camera ready and the team set up, get a producer and start making films (I am ready to give all my life for it). How prepared I am, I asked this myself time and again and now I am saying to myself YES I AM MORE THAN PREPARED. How many may disagree but I am starting things.

So bye bye h erd, I am going to fetch the freedom in wilderness and hopefully I will find it or may die in the strife. I am game.

All this while, I am accused of just talking and not doing any substantial work. Now, the time has come for me to start doing and stop talking, 

I have made a tiny film in BABU KOSAM and now I must pursue it on a bigger scale.


Also, I have published my poems as Lucid Lines of Life and I am writing more too.


Wait and Watch for better things to come by.